“Don’t worry”
Typically said to worried loved ones by other worried loved ones who don’t want people worrying about them.
The irony is that the phrase “don’t worry” typically causes people to worry more, not less.
Why?
Because to tell someone “don’t worry” is to deny those people their feelings. When someone’s feelings have been denied they instinctually feel like they’ve been made wrong. And when someone feels like they’ve been made wrong they tend to hold onto their belief (or worry) even tighter.
See, the person who is worrying doesn’t see it as worrying. They see it as caring. So to tell someone to not worry is to tell them to not care. And well… you can probably see where this is going…
It will only make them care more because now their loved one is refusing care… something must be wrong… Perhaps if I worry more that will help them see how much I care…
Oh how precious it is to be human.
To worry.
To care.
To love and be loved.
If you find yourself with a worrier (or worrying), give this simple acknowledgement phrase a try:
"I can see you're worried."
Then see how it goes from there...